A affair to remmeber
by Ariebby70
Summary: Bella and Edwards Relationship is complicated.When bella say's she's had enough of the affiar.&Things end badly.But can you really forget about the one you love?Bella and Edward's life goes through alot trying to fiqure out what they want.Can they end it?
1. The affair

_**A/N I do not own these character's S.M. does not me. **_

"Right there, yes!" I herd my self say as he went deeper. He knew just how to get a reaction from me. He knew every spot every area on my body. "Fuck! Edward, baby harder. I need it harder!" I yelled as he drilled into me. I knew that we were making to much noise but I didn't care. We were too rapped up in each other. "Bella, god our so tight, your so beautiful." I herd him say as he kissed me picking up his pace. We had been going at it for so long I lost track of time. I could feel myself getting closer to my release. "Come with me, Edward." I said kissing him deeper. We came together.

After a while of us just lying in my bed, me on his stomach. While he played with my hair, I had to say something. "Edward, we have to talk." I herd him sigh as I lifted my head to look at him. "What is it, because whenever people say we need to talk its never good?" I looked at him then looked down biting my bottom lip. "I don't know if I can do this?" he looked at me for a long time, "great so you decide to tell me after sex? What the hell Bella, what did you want you last fill of me. Then you're going to move on? Who is he? Alec? Mike? Jacob?" I pulled the cover to wrap around me. "How could you say something like that, you know that I love you. You also know that I have no type of romantic feelings for any of them. Edward I have loved you for so long, to long. But this is not what I wanted." He looked at me for a long time.

"What do you mean, not what you wanted? We always have so much fun together, you're my best friend. We both no the sex is great. I love you and you love me. So what part didn't you want?" He said looking like he was beginning to become mad or worried. I sighed "Edward you know what I mean. I can't, no wait I won't share you. Edward it kills me to sit there in front of her in front of most of your friends. It kills me to know you go home, to her every night. It kills me to pretend that you're not mine. I can't live in secret, I can't live like this. Cause at the end of the day you r not mine Edward, you're hers. You're engaged to her, for all I know you still fuck her. You still kiss her. I don't like it cause's me pain. I love you, and yeah you say you love me. I can't do this to myself Edward. I have been hurt to many times. I don't want to be the other woman, I want to be you only woman. I can't put myself in this position. You say you love me, but I don know if that's enough anymore."

He didn't say anything he just got up and started to get dressed. "What are you doing?" I asked watching him put his pants on. "I'm helping you; you said this cause's you pain. Well I'm helping you out. Your not in this position anymore." I looked at him tears forming in my eyes. "Edward, what do you mean, your helping me? Where are you going?" He was dressed now he looked mad, sad, irritated I didn't know for sure. "I'm leaving; I'm going home to my fiancé. Your off the hook, you can clear your conches. I told you why this is the way it is. I'm sorry if this is all I can give right now." I looked down and then back up "Wait so you're breaking up with me?" I said looking back at him. He smiled slightly "For us to break up we would have had to be together. I'm ending what ever this is."

He then walked out; he was going back to her. I sat there for at least two hours crying when Alice came into my room. "Bella, what happened? Did Edward do something?" I couldn't answer her though I just couldn't tell her what happened between me and her brother. I loved him so much, but I didn't want to be the affair. I wasn't raised to mess-up relationship, even if the fiancé was an evil, plastic sl-t. I couldn't believe how this night turned out. I didn't want to think about it but Edward was everywhere. I had a class tomorrow and I didn't know if I would be up to it to go. I couldn't think straight. I ran though everything that happened. I still couldn't believe that the love of my life. That Edward Cullen was going to Tanya. Tanya wasn't right for him, she was to plastic and fake, everything on her body had been nipped and tucked by plastic surgeons. I couldn't understand why he had even every wanted to be with her. I mean sure she was pretty once you first saw her. But when you really look at her you can see how fake she is. Plus she was a real bitch. I couldn't comprehend why the hell he was still even with her, but I knew why. I just was selfish. Her dad was going to write him a letter of recommendation to a big fancy hospital in LA. He was so close to becoming a doctor he wanted that recommendation. And of course daddy wanted his little girl happy, with a successful man. So Edward was staying with her longer then necessary. So you may ask why the hell are they engaged well lets see it's because the idiot had proposed when he was drunk. I still don't know that whole story. What the hell was that about? I knew his reasons, that didn't mean I had to like them. I loved him; I hated him for what he was putting me through.

I fell asleep with dried tears on my face; I needed to talk to Alice tomorrow. I just needed time first. I just needed to be alone.

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	2. Torture

**A/N I Do not owns these characters S.M. does. **

_** TWO and a half MONTHS LATTER….**_

This morning I did my morning I showered and dressed quickly wanting the day to be over. So I could crawl back into bed. I knew that ever since I and Edward were teens he always knew what he wanted, he rarely changed his mind. Since we hadn't talked in close to three months I knew it was a slim chances of us every being together again. But I hoped, I hoped he would pick me over Tanya. I didn't want to think about him or the situation, it's done. It's over, that what I wanted. Right? I mean everyone knows affairs end badly, all of them. I had just walked out of star bucks when I herd my name being called. I turned to see Jacob's tall muscular body jogging towards me. Jacob has always been my friend, we meet in preschool, and his father was my dad's best friend. So we saw a lot of each other. That's why I couldn't understand why Edward didn't like him. Jacob was sexy but he was like a brother to me. Plus we could never feel that way about each other. Ever.

"Bella, are you going to mikes tonight?" I looked at him, thinking. "Umm I really hadn't thought about it. Why should I, who is going?" I wasn't surprised when his eyebrows raised I had always turned down things to do with most of my friends. Just so I could 'hang' out with Edward. "Everyone is, it should be fun since his house is next to the beach." I loved living Florida the beach and the sun. It was cool having campus so close. I nodded "Yeah I guess I might come. Could you pick me up?" He smiled brightly "yeah, ill be there at six." I nodded and walked off. Since it was Friday I only had one class and it went by fast. I rushed out the class and went straight home knowing I would need Alice. When I got in the apartment she was on the couch with Jasper, her boyfriend/my cousin. "Alice I need help!" I said running over to her and sitting on the couch. "Are you finally going to tell me what my idiot brother did?" I sighed "Soon, but I need a swimming suit. I'm going to mikes party, and I need a swimming suit to show off my new tattoo."

She screamed and started jumping up and down. "I got the perfect thing; I knew you would want to show it off one day so I bought you one already." I glared at her "what do you mean you already bought me one?" she sighed and ran into her room. As quick as she ran in she came out. She sat next to me and pulled out a black bikini. It was just what I needed it was perfect. "Thanks Ally you're the best." I said hugging her, glade I didn't have to go on a shopping trip. Also that she didn't go over board. She just giggled and looked back at jasper that looked like he was trying not to say anything. "What is it jasper?" I asked him, but he didn't look at me. "I don't see why you even were with him in the first place. We all know he is no good I don't want to see you get hurt." I sighed knowing how Edward wasn't Jasper's favorite person. "Jasper, I'm not freaking out right now about Edward. I just want to look pretty tonight. I want to show him what he missed out on. I want to torture him, while I flirt and do body shots with dudes." I said smiling and he finally looked up at me. "Let the record be known that I told you so." I didn't say anything else, jasper needed to get laid to he would leave me the fuck alone.

When Jake txt me saying he would be here in five minute I looked back into the mirror. I had on my bikini and some short ripped jean shorts. You could see my tattoo, and I couldn't help but think I looked sexy as hell. I looked at my muddy brown eyes, my curly brown hair in the messy bun. I was a pale kind of tan color. And I had curves in the right places. I looked at my belly button ring that I had gotten pierced a year ago. Then I looked at my tattoo, it was just about healed all the way, it started on my shoulder and went down the side of my body till it hit the middle of my thigh. You could barley see some as the bottom of my shorts. The tattoo its self was hot. It was a bunch of roses and stems with thorns on them. It was a lot but it didn't look like too much. And in the middle of them all, it said _it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all; but if I would have never loved I would have never been lost at all. _I liked it Alice said it was a good thing to put I didn't just put it for Edward; I put it for my mother how she left me so easily, though it was so hard for me to let her go. I put it for my brother, how he could up and leave to fight in the army, without asking me. Without talking about his with me. I had so many different kinds of love in my life, so many kinds that have failed or almost had. I thought that fit. I slipped on a loose black cotton t-shirt and black chuck Taylors. Jacob came soon after that. The ride there was silent, not awkward just peaceful. When we pulled up to his house the house was packed. I got out after shouting a see inside to Jacob. When I was inside I went straight to find Rosalie. One of my best friends. I didn't see her right away so I went to get something to drink.

The party was okay, and the nigh when on I found Rosalie and soon after that lice showed up with jasper in tow. We danced and laughed, but I felt like I was waiting for something. I herd people where going outside to the pool. 'I know right, mike Newton had a freaking pool on the beach. His house wasn't to fare from the shore. But it was far enough. When I got out there where people put there kissing and jumping into the pool fully clothed. A lot of people didn't want to get in, they just wanted to walk around in there swimming suite. That's when Alice attacked "Bella, I dare you to jump in there." I looked at her and rolled my eyes. "I don't want to do that, I don't want to get these shorts wet." She looked at me like I was missing something. "No duh, take off your clothes. You have the bikini on under it, this would be the perfect time to show off your tattoo." I looked around and it was starting to get really packed out here. "I don't know Alice it's a lot of people out here." She glared at me "Bella it's no time to be getting shy." Just then I herd the voice I hadn't realized I had been waiting for. "Hey, what's up mike? What's going on back here?" I herd him say not to far behind me. Edward. Then I herd mike "nothing some chicks jumping into the pool." I didn't here Tanya's squeaky voice so I guessed she wasn't here. I knew I had to jump into the pool now. I shrugged and smiled at Alice as she clapped her hands I saw a lot of people look up as I walked close to the pool.

I took of my shorts first slowly, feeling Edward and a bunch of others eyes on me. I tossed them to Alice as I took of my chucks. Bending over all the way, it wasn't the time to be shy. I herd Alice's voice say in my head. Then I pulled off my shirt. I herd a lot of deep gasp as people took in my tattoo. I even noticed a familiar one. I gave them enough time to see most of it before I jumped into the pool. I same up and as I was walking up the stars I saw Edward and some blond guy waiting towels in there hands and lust in there eyes. "Here bells," I herd Edward say but I went straight to the other guy's took his towel dried my self off, put my shorts back on and fixed my hair. I didn't put the shirt back on, so everyone who was still looking could see most of my tattoo still. I looked at the boy whose towel I took "thanks'." I said then biting my bottom lip, knowing Edward lost control when I did that. I looked over to Edward then. I just looked at him then turned around and walked away. Eat your heart out Cullen. I knew that I had won this round, shit I won the war. Edward moved on so now it's my time.

I just hoped I could…

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	3. Body shot's

**A/N: I do not own these characters S.M. does, not me.**

When I went back inside I went straight for the liquor. I went over to the group of people around the kitchen table doing body shot's. When I went over to see what the commotion was about I saw a guy with jet black hair being yelled at by his friends to do a body shot of some girl. He had crystal blue eyes and he was a muscular lean dude. He was sexy as hell, and he was looking at me. "Hay would you do body shots with me?" he asked and me being my insecure self I looked around to be positive he was talking to me. "Yeah of course" I said, shooting back the one I had in my hand and laying on the table. There was a lot of hooting and hollering. I saw copper hair come into the room, with the blur of everyone's movement.

I felt them put the salt in the middle of my boobs. And poor the scotch maybe? On my stomach, then the lime was in my mouth. Blue eyed dud was so fast I didn't see him do anything till he was bending down to take the lime from me, his lips stayed there for a couple of unnecessary seconds as he grabbed it with his mouth, but I wasn't complaining. Then it was his turn. He lay on the table, and I could here Rosalie hollering for me to get it, I laughed at her. I put the salt on his abs and the lime in his mouth. I decided I would just shoot back the scotch because I didn't know if I was supposed to poor liquor on him as well. I drank it back and then I licked his abs making sure I got every spec of salt for Edwards benefit. Of course. Then I went for the lime, I have expected him to move it out the way but he didn't. I took the lime and sucked on it.

When I was done I grabbed two more shots and drank them back when I was about to go for another one I felt an arm grab my arm. And the familiar electric sensation happened once again. "I think you have had enough." I looked up into his green eyes. "I think you should stop voicing your opinions on me." I said about to turn and go then I realized he didn't let go. "Bella, how many have you had? You know cant hold your liquor. Why are you here any way?" I guess he asked in a worried tone, but I couldn't get passed the thought of why the hell was he worried about me. "Edward, look I really don't remember how many I have had. But what I do remember is you leaving, you ending things. So from what I do remember I can't help but think why the hell you're worried about what or why I do things." I said and turned to go again. But he wouldn't let go.

"Bella, don't do that here. That has nothing else to do with me trying to make sure your okay, I'm worried about you. I mean you got a tattoo; you of all people got a tattoo. You always told me if you ever got a tattoo it would be very small. That's not small. Plus you dang there ate that dudes skin in there and you're wearing skimpy bikinis? You know how I feel about you around mike, "I want you."." O how I did remember that he doesn't like me around mike cause mike had tried a million times to ask me out even though I repeated I'm not interested. Plus he kind of was creepy so I promised I would stay away from him. I looked at him for a long time just looking at him he had no shirt on so you could see his tattoo of his family crest on his shoulder. "Look Edward what I do, who I do, what I where or do to my body is my concern. Okay. And it's funny how you say I'm acting different, cause that's the thing. People change, people break promises. You should know a lot about that. Huh?" I said walking away. He let me go then, I didn't expect him to hang on to me longer. But it made me mad that I was upset he didn't. Gosh I wanted Edward I did, but he wasn't mine to want. I couldn't have him and it was killing me. I knew that it was a dangerous territory to even think about us again. But how do you get over the only thing you every know? Ever fully noticed. I sighed and stumbled out side. When I got out there I didn't see Jacob's car, so I guessed he left. Great! That's when I herd his voice again. "Jacob left like twenty minute okay with some red head." I looked at the street full of cars. "Fuck." I said sitting down on the porch. "I could take you home." I didn't look at him, I completely ignored him. "Fuck, Bella I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to be your friend." I looked at him then. He wanted to be my _friend_. What the fuck is that about? I still didn't say anything. Next thing I knew I was over his shoulder. "What the hell put me down, Edward?" He didn't say anything he took me too his are and put me in the seat. And then shut the door. I pouted in the seat, I knew I could get out but for some reason my legs wouldn't work. He came around and got in starting up the car. The ride there was quite and awkward. I didn't say anything to him, even though he tried to talk to me.

When we pulled up to my house I got out in a hurry. I ran up to my floor and once I got to my door and unlocked it I felt his arms around mine. Damn I didn't want to talk to him, can't he get the message. "Bella, I'm sorry about what I said." He didn't have to go any farther we both knew what he meant. "I just didn't want you to think I didn't love you. Cause I do, so fucking much Bella. But I knew that the situation was bugging you about us I knew it. I was so selfish, I just thought about me and my career and not about our future, cause I want you bells always. I love you." Maybe it was the boos or the fact that I was horny as hell but I kissed him. He kissed me back soft at first then harder as I rub my body against his, my hand's going everywhere.

Fuck," he curses lowly. "You feel so good Bella god I want to touch you, _can I_ to touch you."

He takes my hand and slowly moves it away from his cock and onto his thigh. I almost whimper out loud at the loss of feeling him so hard. For me. _He is hard for me_, not for Tanya for me. And I can barely wrap my mind around it because I have spent the last months thinking he picked her over me. But here, is the most gorgeous and sexiest man I have ever me and he wants me. And he loves me; I could feel how much he wants me. I can hear it in his voice. So, even though this might be wrong. I can't find one goddamn part of me that cares. That wants to stop.

"Tell me you want this," he murmurs in my ear. ""I want it." I say looking into his eyes pushes me against the wall. He pulls my bikini top from my body and starts to kiss my breasts. He takes in my nipple and I moan at the feeling. He starts to push down my shorts and my bikini bottoms go with them. He was kissing me again harder this time, more frantic. More rough and deeper. I'm so _fucking_ hard for you right now," he say's grinding into me. Even though I love the sweet normal playful Edward, I fucking loved the dirty talking rough Edward. "Everything about you is fucking killing me, Bella. I can feel how hot you are, through my pants, _and fuck_…your thighs are wet, Bella. You want me, just like I want you."

I look into his deep green eyes filled with lust. _"I want you." _ He looks at me for the longest time before he push's his own pants down and plunges into me hard and quick. "O fuck!" I say out loud, Edward is big and when I say I mean gifted, plus he knows just where to hit. "Fuck, Edward, shit!" I couldn't think straight I could here him moaning as he picked up his pace hitting deeper and harder. Then out of no where he takes me off the wall and makes me stand leaning over the back of the living room couch. He comes being me and slips in and we both moan at the sensation. "Bella, you're so tight, in every angle, so fucking tight." I herd him say and I bit my lip as he picked up the pace in this new angle he was hitting everything. And I met his every thrust. He had my hips in a vise grip as he plunged into me. I felt my self about to Come "Shit, Edward I'm going to co-"I felt it finger come down and rub my clit. As I came I felt him come right after me. He pulled out of me and I sighed from the lost. He pulled me into a hug.

We had just got into my bed and we were snuggling. "Bella, I don't want you to think I'm picking Tanya over you." I didn't say anything, and I guess that was all the response he needed. "Baby, I love you. You know why I have to stay with her. I know it's not far to you and it kills me that I put you in this situation but I need to do this for me, for us." I didn't say anything, this was for him, and the recommendation was for him. The free stuff Tanya gave him like super bowl tickets where all for him. The fact that he never tells me if he fucks her is for him. I didn't say anything I just laid in his arms. "Bella, I love you, only you forever." I was about to say something when his phone starting ringing. "Hay baby… yeah okay sorry yeah I'll leave the party now. Miss you too. I love you." He hung up but didn't say anything right away. I knew it was Tanya and he had to leave me to go to her to do god knows what. I sighed "Go Edward." I said weakly not having the strength to even get mad anymore. "I'm sorry bells, I got too." I didn't say anything when he was dressed and was about to leave my room he said "I love you." When he shut the door I said "So you say a lot." I cried then, I cried for putting my self in this position yet again. I cried for not being stronger enough to with stand his charms. I cried that I fell in love with someone who would always hurt me. Things had been so easy when we were younger. I thought back to what he said earlier. He had said I was acting different. I had broken my promise but in reality he was always breaking promise's always acting different. That's the sad thing about love , you cant pick who you give it too.

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	4. The Cycle

A/N I do not own These Characters. S. M does not me.

The next day I felt dirty, how dare I let myself get sucked back into Edward. And for what? _You know what Bella, for love. _I told myself, but if this is what love was then I can't do it_. You can't control it, genius._ I Sighed and got out of bed. A little bit after that I got a call and the person wanted to meet me. I too ka shower and went into the kitchen. When I was done making breakfast my phone started ringing.  
"Hello." I said without looking at caller I.D. "Opean your door." I herd Edward say. I sighed and went to open it. There was Edward in all his goriness. He had on a gray v-neck and low riding jeans. His hair looking the same sex hair mess and he looked wide away. He was giving me the once over too. I had on a graphic t-shirt that said bite me on it with fangs under it. And black boy shorts. I sighed knowing he would have something to say on my out fit. "Well, if you wanted me to bite you, you could have asked last night. I sighed and walked away from the door and back to the kitchen. He followed me and I herd him sit down as I made him and myself a plate.

He was sitting at the table and I was sitting on the island on the other side of the kitchen. We ate in silence for a long time till he spoke. "I'm sorry, Bella." I looked up at him confused. "For what?" He looked into my eyes and didn't say anything for a long time. "For leaving last night." I looked down at my plate. "You had to go back to your girlfriend, I understand. Its nothing new, I'm used to it." I herd him sigh and herd him start walking. He stopped in front on me and got in-between my legs. "I'm sorry, Bella I love you." He said pulling my face up with his fingers. "Déjà Vu, Okay so that's the I'm sorry. Next is the sex then it's the arguing. Then you go back to Tanya fuck her brains out, say some I love you's. Then you're back here saying sorry and the cycle continues." I said smiling at him. He didn't say anything so I continued "So why don't we skip over the I love you and sorry's get to the sex. So you're that much closer to next time. Okay? Okay. "I said pulling my graphic t over my head revealing a black lace braw. I kissed him deeply and he kissed me back. Then he pulled back "I can't, Bella I have to explain..." I smiled at him. "Shhhh, this is what you want, right. I'm here, willing." He shook his head "its not just sex." I smiled again. Wanting to cry. "Its okay, I understand, just fuck me already." I kissed him again and he kissed me deeper. He unbuckled his pants and they hit the floor. Then he pulled away. "Dammit Bella, its not just sex, I have known you my whole life. I love you. Why isn't that enough for you?" I smiled and knew I would hate myself for what I was about to do. "It's enough Edward, god it's enough." I said kissing his neck. And I herd him grown as he ripped my panties from my body. "Shit, Bella you're so wet. God baby your soaking." I moaned and he pulled out a condom and put it on. He kissed me again deeper. "I love you so much Bella, fuck." I smiled "I love you to Edward." He smiled at me "Forever." I didn't respond cause in that second he slide into me. "Fuck, you're always so tight. So tight." He whispers as he set his pace. He was going so fast. I could only here our moans. I could feel my release coming. "Edward, I'm going too..." he kissed me then. " Come, Bella." At that moment I came, and he came two strokes after me.

We were breathing deeply and he pulled back to put his pants on. I put my shirt back on and ran in my room to change into some clothes. He looked like he was about to sit on my couch. Edward looked up "where are we going?" I didn't say anything just smiled. We walked out side my apartment. When I saw the car I would be leaving in I decided to speak. "Well, Edward that was fun. I guess I'll see you and Tanya some time." He looked confused "wait I thought?" I smiled at him "You thought what? That I was really going to try to be with you. After everything you put me through. I told you days ago Edward I'm not a home wrecker. You thought I would be you mistress?" he looked confused more "Wait, you said it was enough. You said you loved me. What happened to forever?" I smiled sadly at him. "It was enough Edward that's just that. The past tense. I did love you, and forever isn't as long as it seems. So go home to Tanya. She's probably wondering were you are." He shook his head "Your just saying this now, we both no you can't stay away fro me just like I cant you. We love each other" I smiled sadly at him I looked up seeing I was dang there to the car. "See that's the thing about love Edward. People expect it to be a dream come true, the think it will solve there problems. They believe that it's this wonderful gift. But its not, the love they want is a fantasy as fable. It doesn't exist. I do love you Edward, god there's no denying that. But then again I love myself more. What I want you can't give, and I come before you. Plus your not what I want, I love the thought of you. I love our past. Shit, I loved the thought of our future. I have love for you. But that's the thing I'm not in love with you. Not anymore." He shook his head "You're just saying that. Plus you wouldn't use me like that. What we just did was make love. You wouldn't use me. You not like any girl from my past." I sighed again as I approached the car. "See that's were your wrong. I am like all those girls's because all those girls you couldn't commit too. All those girls were just notches in your bed post just like you were there's. And if you think I'm just saying this, well you can think what you want. I'll see you around." I opened the door of the passenger side. And got in and looked at Edward only six steps away. "I'll see you around Edward." He looked like he was in pain. Great, he looked like I felt. As we drove away. I knew Edward would by my lies. I just wish I could. I loved Edward more than air. But I also knew he was like a drug to me. That's not healthy; I couldn't be what I needed to be for Edward, just like he couldn't be what I needed. So this was me ending the cycle. I sighed, I just wished there was some way I could love him without the pain I looked over at the familiar body. The jet black hair and the blue eye's I had seen the night before. "So Bella, what did you want to do today?" I smiled at him "What ever you have in mind Alec."

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	5. IceCream And Tear's

A/N : Dont own these Charcter's. But I wish i did .

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**READ IMPORTANT! : There is a conflict in this chapter , that some reader's may not want to read. I'm Warning you know. **

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**Sometime's the people we love the most do the most damage to us.**

** -AriannaNicole**

**BOV**

He smiled at me "I don't know Belly Boo, What do you want to do? And don't think I didn't see who was with you, looking Freshly Fucked. God, he get's sexier ever time I see him." I rolled my eyes at Alec. Alec and I had become

friends a while back. But what most people don't know about him is he's gay. He's a really funny dude, for some reason he loved saying gay jokes. They were hilarious to him. I loved Alec, like a brother. We would always have

fun when we were together. Hence, the other night. Alec hadn't told anyone bedside's me and his secret boy toy. He wouldn't tell me who he was though. So to every one else, Alec was straight. But I knew that he was

grossed out when I was licking the liquor off him. That's what made it so much fun. Alec's the girl in his relationship even though by his size it's hard to tell. That man is in love with any and everything sparkly and pink.

"Hey, belly bean what does a gay horse say?" I smiled and rolled my eye's "What, does it say Alec?" He laughed "H-a-a-a-y-y!" I giggled and shook my head. Alec and I were on the way to his house, from the looks of what

street we were on.

When we finally got to his house and seated on his couch he spoke again. "Okay, you look like you just saw your puppy get run over. What did that Greek god do now?" I looked at him for a minute. "I did something bad Allie. I

did something real stupid." His faced turned down, he looked worried. "What happened?" I sighed "I slept with Edward again." He smiled "I'm not seeing what's so bad about it." I looked down "You know the whole situation

with him and Tanya. Plus I kind of gave him false hope of us, being together secretly still." He shook his head "Belly, don't worry about Tanya. Edward won't be with her long. She's just for now. You're his future. And I

understand why you did what you did to him. You wanted to hurt him, right?" I nodded my head "Allie, him and Tanya are engaged now." I said slowly I hadn't told him this yet. "What the fuck do you mean Engaged. Like

engaged in a stupid as deal." I shook my head "No like, Tanya's going to be the future Mrs. Cullen." Alec shook with fury. "Are you fucking kidding me? Bells why am I just finding this out I would have kicked his pretty ass." I

smiled a small smile at him "It doesn't matter anymore; I'm done with him for good. I can't be that girl. I'm not strong enough for that. I can't share him, I won't share him. I … She … Won. She can have him." Alec looked sad

now "I'm so sorry belly boo, so sorry that this ass hole hurt you time and time again." I nodded my head and laid my head against his shoulder. We sat there for a while watching T.V. and ate ice cream.

"_Edward, do you think we will be together forever?" I asked Edward, we were back in forks. I was only eighteen and so stupid. "Yeah, Bells we will forever. Were going to get married, and have brown headed little kids with the white picket _

_fence and ever thing." I smiled and rolled my eyes at him "If they have my hair, I want them to have your eyes. I always get lost in your eyes." I said pecking his lips. He pulled me back to him and held my in his lap. "Bella, I swear to _

_you I won't hurt you. It's just you and me, forever." I smiled and cuddled up into his embrace "Forever." I said he nodded his head and kissed the top of my head. "And ever." _

Alec and I had stayed on his couch all night watching pretty women and other love story movies. We both had a big carton of chocolate ice cream. Alec just dropped me off at my apartment. I had just got to my floor and I saw

the lean muscular figure leaning against my door. "What the hell are you doing here Edward?" he lifted his head and stood up. "I came back after you left and waited." What was his problem couldn't he leave me alone. "Why, I

don't want you here." He shook his head "I don't believe you. I know you love me Bells. I know because you belong with me and I belong with you. You can't fake what we have." I shook my head "What we had Edward,

did you not hear anything I said earlier." He nodded his head "You're just speaking out of hurt and pain." The tears started to fall "Do you know who caused that hurt and pain?" I asked walking passed him and unlocking

my door. Before I could close it Edward came it. He walked towards me and I walked backwards till my back hit some wall. "I know I hurt you Bella but…" I cut him off "but what, the sex is mind blowing. What do you want

from me?" he punched the wall that was right next to me. Missing me by only inches. "It's not just about the fucking sex." Bella … Shit … I fucking love you. Why isn't that enough?" His face was red and he looked

murderous, for the first time in my life I was scared of him. There was something off with him, his eyes were dark, and his pupils dilated. Something was off with him. With a sigh I started to speak slowly "It's not enough,

because I'm not enough for you." He looked shocked "Why the hell would you think that?" I smiled a sad smile at him "Because you're with Tanya." I said looking down. His hand brought my face back up. "God, Bella how many

time's do I have to tell you. That my heart belongs to you? I could never love another, I could never give my heart to Tanya." He said looking like a lost man. His eyes were so far away. Even though he was looking at me in

my eyes. I sighed "Do you fuck Tanya?" He looked at me for a while, he didn't say anything. "Then I don't know why your hear right now. You can get sex from her, so why are you bugging me." His large strong arms grabbed

my arms when I tried to walk away. "What the fuck is your problem have you not herd a word I have said?" His grip was too tight and he was cutting off my circulation. "Edward, your hurting me." He shook his head "You don't

know pain." He said "I'm going to prove to you that you love me." When those words's left his mouth I felt a chill of fear hit me. His arm's that were on my forearms moved to my waist picking me up. "Edward, put me the fuck

down." I said trying to get out of his grasp.

He walked to my room and through me on my bed. I tired to get off and run away, but the weight of his body was on mine, before I could do anything. The tears started to come then, what was going on? This wasn't

Edward. I prayed he wouldn't do what I thought he had in mind. _"I'm going to prove you love me. I'm going to show you how I know you won't go back to the ass whole that picked u up. Your Mine Bella." _He said quietly but loud

enough for me to hear each and every word. True fear hit me then. I loved Edward, but this wasn't him. He was trying to take me against my will. His large hands ripped at me black spaghetti strap shirt I had on. Pulling it from

my body. A sobbed left my mouth as I tried to push him off of me, with no luck. He then pulled my bra from my body throwing it behind him. "So… you're going to rape me Edward. I thought you loved m-m-m-e-e? I chocked

out between tears. It looked like it snapped him out of what he was in. "I do love you Bella." He said looking at the mirror that was on my wall behind the head of my bed. He then looked at me. He jumped off of me then. I

quickly grabbed my cover and covered my body. The tears were still flowing down my face. He shook his head and looked horrified "Bella, I'm so sorry…. So sorry." He said backing out my room. Soon after I herd my front

door shut.

I did what seemed to be the only thing I did anymore. I cried. I cried because of what had almost occurred. I cried more cause who almost did that to me. I cried because something was wrong with Edward. And I wanted

to help him. I even cried because I couldn't call it rape, because in my mind, I was close to giving in to him and enjoying the feeling of his hands on me. I sobbed and laid down on my bed clutching the covers. Something was

up with Edward, and even though I wanted to help him. I was terrified of him. Would he have gone on if I hadn't spoken? I was just about to go to sleep, but when I moved my leg I felt something scratch my leg. I reached

down there feeling around, till I felt an l plastic. I turned on the bed side lamp. I looked down at it. There in my hand I found out what had made Edward the way he was. I think that scared me more than what had happened

not ten minutes ago. I looked down at it in my hand, fresh tear's pouring from my eye's.

_ And I was more confused than I had ever been._

* * *

**_REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW .What's the plastic thing Bella Found? What is Up with Edward? Is Bella Going to tell anyone what happend? Read the Next Chapter, when i post it to Find out. I'm sorry i had to write edward like that. It nearly killed me, to do so. But You guy's will see Edward's point of view. Next Chapter. But For now REVIEW. Tell Me what you thought or Think. _**


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